humour // no. 23

 

issue 23 // volume 43

Leitche not-so-
conservative of

Your Horoscopes

> They are yours, and yours alone

Rebecca Peterson
Humour Editor

 

} | ere at the Other Press, we look
to the future. We look to the
past. Backstreet’s Back, alright.

AQUARIUS
(Jan. 21 - Feb. 19)
You read the humour
section. You see the
horoscope section. They're
all so short. So mundane.
So asinine. You think the
humour editor might be phoning it in.
You don’t know for sure. You put the
paper aside. You think upon your life
thus far. Where are you going, Aquarius?
Where have you gone? What have you
done? By God, what have you done?
They won't catch you at this point, it’s
been far too long, but the guilt remains...
the guilt remains with you forever.

  

PISCES
(Feb. 20 — Mar. 20)
Split up and look for clues.

 

ARIES

(March 21 - April 20)
Dear Aries: according
toa friend of mine,
prepare to get rekt
scrub (not in a good
way). I trust this means you will have
a pleasant and productive week.

  

TAURUS

(April 21 —- May 21)
Nice kangaroo onesie
ya got there.

 

GEMINI

(May 22 - June 22)
We consulted with
the stars and it’s
confirmed; the stars
have a massive crush
on you! They're wondering if you feel
the same but are too shy to ask you
out in person. To be fair, the stars are
eons old and still live in their mom’s
basement, but it’s flattering, isn’t it?

  

 

CANCER
(June 22 — July 23)
Yikes.

 

LEO (July - Aug. 23)
If a bird shits on your
head it’s a sign of

good luck. I suggest
seeking out a bird at
your earliest convenience,
because you will need all the
luck you can get this week.

  
  

VIRGO
(Aug. 24 - Sept. 23)
Imagine being bogged
down in homework
all week, never to come
up for air. I’m not saying
that’s going to happen to you. I just think
it’s something you should imagine.

LIBRA
(Sept. 24 - Oct. 23)

1 =X

  
  

  

SCORPIO
(Oct. 24 — Nov. 22)

it’s not a crime.

 

SAGITTARIUS
(Nov. 23 — Dec. 21)
We're so sorry.

 

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22 - Jan. 20)
Humour Editor
Rebecca Peterson is
still accepting cash
donations, but will also
accept free food and coffee as payment.

  

As long as it’s an accident

Illustrations by Ed Appleby

shifty eyes

> A review of Kellie Leitche’s ‘Canadian Values’

Mercedes Deutscher
News Editor

wkekkn

Pourcens are perhaps some of

the greatest performers of post-
modern times. Gone are the days when
politicians would address the public
through monotone radio addresses. Both
John F. Kennedy and Pierre Trudeau
revolutionized the political spheres forever
by bringing in stylish politics that engaged
American and Canadian audiences alike.

So it is truly a disgrace to the late
Kennedy and Trudeau for a performer
such as Kellie Lietche to inflict the
public with such an awful display
with her recent online video, aiming
to focus on Canadian values.

Canadian Values, a political satire
piece starring Leitche, follows the story
of a woman who yearns for the leadership
of the Conservative Party of Canada.

She vies on a set of Canadian values that
have long since fallen into the darker
chapters of history books. Lietche plays a
character that has a supposed yearning for
tolerance, only to then massively impede
newcomers from entering the country
by forcing them to go through a lengthy
and grueling interview-based process
that will undoubtedly be slanted to deter
immigrants, should the Conservative
Party come into power in 2019.

Perhaps Leitche believed that such a
performance would win her a prestigious
Conservative Party leadership. Yet, the
Academy of Canadian Politics would not
bite on such a disorganized piece of work.

For one, Leitche’s performance is
little better than that of a frightened child
forced into acting far too young. She often
gazes into the corner or away from the
camera, when there has been no previous
established character in the scene. She
also often takes pause, implying that she
was not behaving as a professional would
by having her line memorized before
stepping in front of the camera. However,

 

 

the most egregious of errors in Leitche’s
piece is how the humour comes across as
dead serious. While the lines are clearly
meant to be comedic, the delivery is often
far too sincere, and so the satire of the
piece is lost. If the things she is saying
werent so frighteningly prejudiced and
hypocritical, one might think the entire
film was meant to be taken seriously.

In fact, a super-secret video leaked to
the Other Press shows candid footage of
Leitche asking her directors for lines, and
carefully gazing at a comically-sized poster
board that has her lines written right on it.

I, for one, would much rather
watch a performance by Kevin O'Leary.
Even if the politician is essentially
Trump Lite, at least he has television
experience. Hell, Trump has television
experience and he’s playing one of the
most entertaining villains of our time.

Overall, Leitche has a long way to
go if she wishes to succeed in the world
of comedic politics. The goal is to make
the audience think everything you're
saying is a joke, not for them to be
wondering if you are being held hostage.

Photo of Kellie Leitch via Macleans.ca

 

 

 

   

By: L. A. Bonté

HEY KODIAK! NO ONE INVITED
US TO ANY “SPRING BREAK™

  

   

“KODIAK

WELLTVE NEVER BEEN
VERY POPULAR! AT CAMP
THEY WOULD CALL ME

  

 
  

 
   
    

BUT 1 WAS THE
Ny

 
     

KODIAK!

  

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