Have an idea for a story? WM humour@theotherpress.ca And more! Douglas student on fourth day of holding third floor door open > A peek into the life of one of Douglas College’s human doorstops Rebecca Peterson Staff Writer his week, the Other Press spoke with Stanley Plat, 19, a Douglas student who has been confirmed to have been holding open the door between the main commerce and the third floor hallway for the past four days. A Communications major, Plat was surprisingly cavalier when discussing his current predicament. “The first hour was the hardest,” Plat said, leaning back against the door to allow room for late students to go bolting through the doorway. “I mean, when you hold open a door for people, you expect there to be a lull in the crowds at some point. I should have known.” It all started when Plat was intercepted on his way to class by a door swinging shut in his face. Without thinking of the consequences, Plat pulled the door open only to realize there was a large group of students behind him, needing to go through. “T’ve been here ever since,” Plat said with a shrug. Often called “Canadian Traps,” the doors off the commerce are notorious hazards for people with ingrained politeness. It is not unusual to see people such as Plat acting as a human doorstop, allowing classmates to escape through the doorways while they are left to languish. “Tt wasn‘ so bad,” said Plat. “I mean, like I said, maybe at first. But everyone’s been pretty grateful. I’ve even had people start handing off money, like tips? So I've made more in the past few days than I’ve made in the past month working weekends at Safeway. I'm actually starting to think about opening a savings account, maybe invest a little. You can do that on your phone these days, and the Wi-Fi here is decent.” Despite the optimism, the threat of being dropped from classes due to absenteeism looms large, given Plat’s inability to attend his courses because of his new position. Plat remains unconcerned. “I mean, think of it this way,” said Plat. “I came to Douglas to Original graphic illustration (¥ Four out of five dentists agree fifth dentist is insane (¥ BREAKING: Nice guy gets girl (¥Y Greatest winners of this year’s Super Bowl learn, right? So I could go off and have a career? Sure, there’s not gonna be a piece of paper showing that I got a degree in ‘door-holding, or whatever, but it’s practical, hands-on experience. I was gonna be a PR rep for some tech company, but now? I’m thinking doorman.” In fact, given the frequency of students being left in such positions, there have been whispers among faculty members of opening a trade school of sorts offering an associate’s degree in doorstop management. According to one professor who preferred his identity to remain anonymous: “We're not entirely ruling it out.” So there may be an academic future for the human doorstops of Douglas College after all. Either way, Plat seems content to stay where he is. “You really see the broad spectrum of human kindness, here,” Plat said. “People bring me food, water, copies of the Other Press. Personally I’m more of a Metro guy, but, you know, beggars can't be choosers and all that.” Finally, we asked Plat how he was able to relieve himself while stuck at his station. He declined to comment further. Vancouver's real estate market pricier than ever >How much would you pay to live in the city? Jake Wray Contributor he red hot real estate market reached new extremes last month when a decrepit backyard shed in Vancouver’s Dunbar neighbourhood sold for $2.4 million. Jonas Mendelson, a 32-year- old software developer, paid $200,000 above asking price for the run-down storage unit. It has no heat, insulation, plumbing, or electricity. He said the price was steep, but totally worth it. “I know I’m just a millionaire, but I really wanted to live in Vancouver. I just love it here— it’s so close to the mountains for outdoor activities, and the ocean, and the dating scene here is so lively and genuine,” said Mendelson. “I didn’t think I could afford to live in the city, but buying a shed was a nice way to compromise basic necessities like heat and running water for the sake of affordability.” He also said the community- oriented neighbourhood was a huge selling point. “I need to feel like I really belong where I’m living, so the warm reception here has been amazing. The students who live in the shed across the alley left their Wi-Fi unsecured for me, and the raccoon family in the bushes next door have only bitten me maybe two, three times,” said Mendelson. The owner of the property on which Mendelson’s shed sits, Steve McIntyre, said the shed had become too valuable to hang onto. “As prices kept soaring, I kept looking out at that damn shed. I figured I barely use it, why not sell it fora handsome profit to some poor schmuck,” said McIntyre. He added that he was very pleased when Mendelson delivered payment for the shed in cash. “I was running out of money to wipe my ass with, and I didn’t want to have to make a trip down to the ATM,” said McIntyre. Not everyone is pleased with the transaction, however. Mendelson and McIntyre’s neighbour, Helena Fletcher, said some incoherent, racist shit that didn’t really contribute to the discourse about real estate in any meaningful way. “It’s those goddamn Chinese. They're coming in here with their foreign money and driving this city to the ground!” said Fletcher. “This used to be a good neighbourhood, | tell ya.” When reminded that both Mendelson and McIntyre are both white Canadian men of European descent, Fletcher was unfazed. Photo by Erica Cooper via flickr “They’re just puppets, I tell ya! Those Chinese are behind everything these days, pulling the strings. They’re trying to take over this country from the inside out,” she maintained.