humour / 22

College Confessional...

» While you were sleeping

Kirsten Scott-Wuori
Columnist

Did you forget to wear a shirt
today? Did you wear too many
shirts today? Were you so
hungry after lunch that you
found yourself eating barely-
trash Timbits from the cafeteria
garbage can? Did you get your
period in any memorable way?
We want to know about it.

We know that there are times
in your life when you look at
yourself and you can barely
believe the shameful person
looking back at you—but

don’t worry! There's absolutely
absolution in sharing. Get it off
your chest. Send us your most
cringe-worthy confessions at
humour@theotherpress.ca, and

spread the shame.

or Valentine’s Day last year
I decided to surprise my

: boyfriend by renting a hotel
: room downtown. The room was :
: beautiful—a view of the water,
: Jacuzzi tub, the works—and

: way out of my price range. The
: only not-perfect part was my

: boyfriend: he had to work.

: Valentine’s Day for a server

: is like Black Friday fora
salesperson—there’s no way in

: hell you'll be getting it off.

I decided that I would go

: to the hotel room early to get

: it ready; after all, there was no
: sense in leaving this beautiful

: room empty while I waited for
: him to get off work. I bought

: champagne, did the rose pedal :
: thing, even bought lingerie, and :

then I waited.

The next thing I know, my

boyfriend—and a handful of
: hotel staff—is waking me up,

and itis 1:30 in the morning.

: Apparently I hadn’t heard my

: boyfriend pounding on the door
: and he was worried something

: bad had happened to me so he

: went for help. I didn’t realize

: that if the last seating at the

: restaurant he worked at was

: at 9 p.m., that he wouldn’t

: make it to the hotel until well
after midnight, and I had fallen

: asleep.

This Valentine’s Day, if I

do decide to go the hotel route
: again, I will make sure I give my
: boyfriend a key.

—Melissa, 25

theotherpress.ca

 

 

Photoshop, or nah?
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#mycalvins

ee aa)

By Sharon Miki