Opinions

 

 

 

 

Of Three Zone Transfers and Lack of
Social Grace

Trevor Hargreaves

da many of you, lama
commuter. While enjoying the stellar
commute from one end of the transit
line to the other on a daily basis, I
endure a variety of salty examples
of the human element. Each day
is a seemingly endless stream of
sanatorium-like unfettered sneezes
and sniffles and a cacophony of mildly
psychotic mumbles. Beyond the sick
and the crazy, I’m also exposed to
the daily viewings of drunken paint-
splattered housepainters, and best of
all, the stinky bottle collectors who
bring their collection of empties in
a Santa Clause sized bag enroute to
whatever depot is just far enough away
to necessitate their commute. Oh what
fun.

On the plus side, I’m lessoning my .
carbon impact, but greatly increasing
my exposure to the seeming dregs of
community at the same time. Does
anyone actually use the train to
commute any more, or is it the goal of
BC Transit to showcase the modern
freak show that is the populous of the
Lower Mainland simply for my benefit?

Am I just a magnet of mobile
insanity, or are these situations just as
commonplace for the rest of you? A

8

few years back, enroute home:from a
late night class, I was even treated to
the stereotypical “guy in track pants
touching himself”! On a Main bus a
little while back, I also endured the
“barefoot guy waving a banana and
talkin’ jive”.

Now I’m a tolerant fellow. I’m
willing to accept these experiences

of speaking on them in public. The
accepted norm was that you would
never use a cell phone in a restaurant,
or public locale. Sadly, somewhere
along the line, the cell phone became so
commonplace that it became perfectly
reasonable to babble anything you want
into your little handheld, regardless

of the surroundings. Accordingly,

Sadly, somewhere along the line, the cell
phone became so commonplace that it
became perfectly reasonable to babble

anything you want into your little handheld,
regardless of the surroundings.

to save a few dollars and prolong the
environment at the same time. But
I absolutely draw the line at one
passenger type, namely the loud sluttish
girl having the incredibly intimate
conversation via cell phone, while I am
sitting right behind her on a practically
empty train.

As cell phones gained popularity
in the eighties, there were many
discussions about.the social etiquette

Sky trains and buses have become
an orchestra of odd noises, jumbles
and cute Asian jingles that represent
the latest and greatest in cell ring
technology.

Well nay sayeth I! It’s time to take
the silence back. Keep your damn
phone off when you are on the train.
And if it does ring and you absolutely
have to answer it, how about purporting
yourself as a person of class and tell

the person on the other line “I’m on the
train right now, but I'll call you back in
ten minutes”.

The sad reality is that people have
become perfectly happy to babble
away as if they are in some kind of
isolation booth, simply because they
are talking to a single person. I can
also comfortably stereotype the most
common perpetrator, namely the late-
teen/early twenties female. To add
a little imagery here, let’s give her a
pair of tight track pants with a classy
saying emboldened on the back such
as “JUICY”. Juicy like the force-fed
gossip you spill to me enroute home
you fast handed tart! I don’t know how
many times I’ve heard conversations
divulging intrigue such as “I wasn’t
going to sleep with him so soon, but his
hair is so nice, and you should see his
car”. Good gravy.

So do me a favor, and the next time
your cell phone rings, just turn off
the ringer until you get off the train.
Better yet, if someone else’s cell phone
rings, just toss the devil device out the
window and loudly proclaim “I’m not
going to jail for you or anyone!” Don’t
worry; you’ll fit right in with the rest of
the loon bags.