www.theotherpress.ca

HUMOUR.

 

Drugs accidentally
alstributed on Halloween
by police force

Aidan
: Mouellic
a Staff Writer

O? Halloween, candy is what
children are after, but an
incident on Halloween has left
the New Westminster Police
Department and local residents
scratching their heads.

Every year during
Halloween, New Westminster
police hand out candy from the
Columbia Street precinct. This
year was no different, except

that instead of getting simple
grape-flavoured lollipops, a
few hundred children received
grape-flavoured LSD lollipops.

Local schools and hospitals
reported dozens of children
showing up while experiencing
the effects of the psychedelic
drug that was present in their
lollipops. Mary Lancaster,
principal at Lord Tweedsmuir,
said that “Too many children
showed up tripping balls! I
thought it was a prank at first,
but when one child thought that
a unicorn really was about to
stab him... that’s when I called
911.”

Ambulances arrived
and groups of students from
various schools were taken
to Royal Columbian Hospital

vestigation

(RCH) throughout the day. It
wasn’t just students though:
one teacher at Glenbrook
Middle School had confiscated
a suspected LSD lollipop and
decided to test to see if it was
in fact one of the tainted pops.
It was, and students had to call
for help when his lesson became
increasingly bizarre.

Staff at RCH reported no
serious injuries or longterm
damages for those who ingested
the candy, but they did say that
the amount of LSD found in a
tested sample was immense.
Dr. Paul Dauhl believes that
“These lollipops were likely
concentrated LSD that was
supposed to be broken up and
divided to others. One person
ingesting a whole lollipop

poses a huge risk and they
likely experienced some form of
madness.”

Unfortunately, children
who ate the lollipops say they
consumed whole pieces of the
candy.

New Westminster police
are keeping mostly quiet on the
issue, but are saying that the
problem likely arose when a
drug enforcement officer seized
a package and left it on his desk
instead of in the lock-up. The
police force is apologizing for
its drug distribution, but also
believe that the issue has been
blown out of proportion.

“No matter how you look
at it, we are keeping the profits
of hard drugs out of the hands
of dangerous criminals,” says

 

Constable Arnold Smith.

The value of the LSD pops
that were handed out was close
to $150,000. Some of the youth
who ingested the pops are
shocked to hear that drugs are
so valuable.

“Thad no idea I was
ingesting such a fancy candy
reports an anonymous student
from Glenbrook Middle. “Tf I
had known, I would have sold it
and bought myself a new bike!”

Parents and police are still
investigating the incident and
hope to have more answers
soon. Police are in damage
control and parents appear to
be out for blood; the individuals
who ingested the pops seem to
be glad that the giant attacking
unicorns are finally gone.

id

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