issue 7// vol 45

opinions // no. 15

Popular movies that are actually trash:
Spooky edition

» Why you should avoid these horrible horrors in your scary movie marathons

Jessica Berget
Opinions Editor

I: finally October! Forget about the
sweaters, tea, pumpkin spice and
falling leaves—October’s real purpose
is for getting into the Halloween spirit.
Nothing gets me more into that spirit
than getting drunk and watching tons
of horror movies. This past month, I’ve
seen my fair share of scary films, some
amazing, and some that were, in my

opinion, a huge pile of spooky garbage. I
watched the huge piles of garbage so you

don't have to, and here they are: Horror

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the TV off, rather than in fear.

Eraserhead (1977)
Don't let the 91 percent on Rotten

 

Tomatoes fool you, this movie is bad.

I have never been so confused and
frustrated by a film. Just because a movie
makes no sense, that doesn’t mean it’s a
good movie, but many fans of this film
seem Konan viel avo nm ceymceyenl an tontem dere Ua Ly
so highly regarded as a cult classic you'd
think it would be coherent.

The Thing (1982)

I can see why this one was so popular in
the 80s but it has not aged well at all.

It’s got a good amount of suspense, some
campy gore, props, and production value,
and of course, bearded Kurt Russel.

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may have been a stepping stone for horror
films back in the day, but there are so
many better movies out there now that

people need to stop regarding this one as
their favourite horror movie ever.

boring film with little scare factor and
special effects that may have spooked
some people 30 years ago but I don’t
think would do much for audiences today
(except for the scene of the guy ripping
off his face that will be burned into your
brain forever). I’ve seen this movie more
than once and I can confirm that even
seeing it a single time is too much.

10 Cloverfield Lane (2016)

I’m going to be honest: I didn’t even

make it past the first half hour of this
movie. The dialogue is so forced and fake-
edgy that it feels like Jared Leto’s Joker
character in Suicide Squad wrote it. What
seemed like a great cast and plot at first

is wasted on this movie. If you can finish
this film, you are much stronger than |
am.

Possession (1981)

I like to think of this one as Eraserhead
part two: It’s slow, confusing, and has a
weird alien thing in it for some reason.
It starts out interesting with some
suspenseful and edge-of-your-seat
moments, but quickly declines into
arts-fartsy nonsense. After looking up
the ending I found out it’s a metaphor for
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explained to you or read an analysis of
it to understand it, then in my opinion
it’s not a good movie. Don't even get me
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Poltergeist (1982)
When I say spooky garbage, this is the
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Poltergeist’ still

hate to sound like a Seinfeld intro, but

what’s the deal with “superfoods”? There’s
nothing “super” about them, except maybe
how expensive and popular they become
once they are deemed a “superfood.”

The fact is many of these foods have
been eaten by other cultures for years, but as
soon as they enter Western society they get
the “super” label stuck on them and become
a trend. Turmeric for example is a popular
spice in Asian cuisine, but only recently
became prominent over here because it
was regarded as a miracle ingredient said to
“prevent the development of cancers.”

Once people realize how good some
foreign products are for their health the
demand goes way up. As a result, these
once-cheap staples from other countries
become so expensive that even the farmers
who grow them can't afford to eat them.
Take quinoa for instance—although it is a
dietary staple for the people of Bolivia and
Peru, because of its popularity its price has
tripled since 2006, so the people who grew
up eating it can no longer afford it.

Sure, these foods are probably good for
you, but they don’t have an almighty power
to make anyone who eats them healthier,

swith these

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Jessica Berget
Opinions Editor

 

Rants 1n your pants

» TransLink’s advertising campaign
with Seth Rogen is a failure

Janis McMath to toss in the trash: In 2015, Global News

like the name implies. However, you don't
have to take my word for it. Ask Dr. Nina
Shapiro, an author on the very subject. In
a video on Business Insider about her book
Hype: A Doctor's Guide to Medical Myths,
Exaggerated Claims, and Bad Advice, she
concurs that there is no such thing as a
“superfood.”

“The notion of a superfood is that it is
so good for you, it will prevent cancer and
even treat cancer or stave off evil illnesses,
but food alone cannot do that,” she says.

She goes on to say that many meals that
were once considered healthy in the ’80s
or ‘gos are now known to be bad for you.
Frozen yogurt was big in the ’90s because
so many people believed it was a healthier
alternative to ice cream, but in reality, it has
just as much sugar, fat, and calories as ice
cream. These snacks and ingredients aren't
really miracles—they’re just health trends
that get hyped up for profit.

There are many things that are really
good for you like berries, nuts, or dark
leafy greens, but the term “superfood”
means nothing. Health and diet trends are
constantly changing, so just eat what you
want and don‘ give in to the super myth.

Senior Columnist

 

So Rogen is the voice of several
announcements on TransLink SkyTrains
and buses—and goddammit am | irritated.

I’m not interested in Seth Rogen being
the voice of TransLink’s constant passive
aggressive suggestions to “move my bags”
or “get out of the doorway.” At least their
first candidate for the announcements,
Morgan Freeman, had a recognizable
celebrity voice. Rogen as a second choice
sort of feels like, “Hey, what local Canadian
celebrity do you think would be available
for this B-list gig and also probably do it for
free?” While I can acknowledge that Seth
Rogen was a cool guy for being willing to do
it for free... he was also a big schmuck for
doing so.

TransLink has got coin that they love

reported that the Canadian Taxpayers
Federation gave them the “lifetime
achievement award for waste.” The
Canadian Taxpayers Federation considered
them worthy of this award because
TransLink was paying two CEOs at the
same time—and was paying them both
some of the highest salaries for a leader of a
North American local transit system.

Even though I can barely hear
Rogen’s announcements due to the
SkyTrain’s infamous garbled speakers,
I'm still irritated that he was the choice
for the voice on a transit system I use
everyday. TransLink, if you're going to do
an advertising campaign and expect it to
get any traction or respect, at least loosen
those purse strings and get a Canadian
celebrity of the highest standard—Colin
Mochrie.

   

Image via Vancouver is Awesome