The great coffee conundrum By Shane Scott-Travis Nexus (Camosun College) VICTORIA (CUP)—As we bid a slow goodbye to summer and buckle down for the semester ahead, many students begin to rely on coffee to make it through the grueling pace that school can ask of us. Make no mistake, coffee is a powerful stimulant and it takes a certain amount of internal fortitude just to order a venti soy latte, extra hot, no foam, with a straight face. Coffee is our drug of choice—and what a drug it is. Since the Industrial Revolution it’s been at our beck and call, eager to offer an energy lift and, eerily enough, enable us to work at repetitious tasks, never breaking concentration until the whistle blows and we can scurry home. Coffee culture has taken a hold of our society by the gonads and given it a vicious twist in the last few decades. And, contrary to popular belief, it isn’t all roses. On a recent sojourn to Vancouver I was tickled to see a Starbucks for every Starbucks on Robson Street. Coffee is a great servant but a terrible master, the kind of master who threatens with the promise of a quivering sphincter. Coffee, or “the black death,” if you will, is a designer drug. Used in moderation it can certainly give you a lift but if you overdo it, an anxiety attack is never far behind. Bean juice is tough on the bladder, too, especially for women. Coffee is a diuretic so it makes you sweat, and sweat stinks— it’s just a few urethra crystals shy of being urine, hence those yellowy stains on many an undershirt, right? Gross to the max! Too much coffee can lead to halitosis, irritable bowel syndrome, stomach cancer and any number of other awkward social taboos that will practically guarantee that no undulating co-eds will be shimmying Sw f 2 any where near you. Quitting coffee cold turkey can be harmful; it causes illness and dependence. Curbing our coffee consumption, on the other hand, is a worthwhile pursuit. We needn’t bid our barista bye-bye but we can consider a few alternatives to mix things up a bit. Why not enjoy some herbal tea? Chocolate is energizing, when used responsibly, as is yerba matte and tonics like ginseng and maca root. Or how about ginger tea with lemon? Spirulina and wheat grass can also provide your body with energy of the variety that doesn’t bring you down. Granted, you might have to fraternize with hippies and pretend to like Phish, but you don’t have to worry about the riling lethargy of a coffee crash. So, if you like the bubble, toil and trouble in the ol’ intestines or having an entire rugby team push full force in your head, well, maybe excessive coffee consumption is your cup of, um, tea. In which case, smell you later. As for the rest of us, why talk to clouds on a sunny day? Not another Olympic scandal HBC’s Team Canada garb getting attention for all the wrong reasons Trevor Dore acting opinions editor Canada’s Olympic wear is no exception. The acid trip styles of the 2008 Beijing Summer Olympics turned heads in all the wrong ways. The Hudson Bay Company (HBC) has the contract for the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics and they are taking the style back to Canadian roots. The new collection of scarves, sweaters, T-shirts, jackets and toques are reminiscent of those worn by the first settlers. The Olympic athletes approve, commenting on the nostalgic style and the day-to-day wear-ability of the clothing. While the clothing has been getting some rave reviews, it is not free from controversy. First it was the “C” logo on the t-shirts. The simple black “C” surrounds a red Canadian maple leaf and is shockingly similar to the Canadian forces symbol as well as the logo of the Conservative government. Is the design potentially a form of government advertising, political placement or even propaganda? The resemblance provided ammunition for political mudslinging in the House of Commons resulting in accusations of “cheap partisan politics.”” The Conservative government denied all accusations. The accusations were a first for Suzanne Timmins, the Hudson Bay Co.’s fashion director, who laughed at the thought, stating that the company had not intended to emulate the political party’s logo. The criticism, however, did not end with the design logo. HBC has also designed a “Cowichan-like” sweater. The sweaters resemble the original Cowichan sweaters that are hand knit by Cowichan Aboriginal people. The Hudson’s Bay Company and the Canadian Olympic organizers decided to go with a more expensive, mass- produced version of the sweater from a source in Eastern Canada. The original sweaters go for $215 while the knock offs are going for $350. The organization didn’t think that the tribe would be able to keep up with the demand for orders, which is projected to be in the [Ts Olympics are a constant source of scandal and magnitude of 700. The band, however, was willing to knit 24 hours a day in order to keep up with demand and are now planning on taking legal action against the committee. Support for the Cowichan tribe is growing and there is now a small online community supporting the “Hudson Bay Boycott.” Whether it is trademark policy or political policy, there always seems to be some source of Olympic controversy, people live for it. I don’t imagine the “C” logo will be changed and really don’t think it matters. The new Olympic clothing line is a big step up from the summer line. I am unlikely to jump on the memorabilia bandwagon; however, I think the nostalgic style will be a big hit with tourists and Olympic buffs alike. I like the idea that all of the products will be made in Canada; however I think the committee missed out on a great opportunity to involve the Cowichan people in the representation of our country on the world scale. With the Olympics only four months away, you can be assured that this will not be the end of the scandal. 9 |