Ranting, Raving, and Relating
Junior high is back—in fact, it never really left

By Crystal Auffray

 

I just finished reading an article about a phenomenon the author termed “friend poaching.”
It reminded me of the catty behaviour that we’ve all experienced at some point, probably
somewhere between junior high and secondary school. .

Think about when Lauren and Heidi stopped being friends on The Hills, and it was
Lauren and Audrina, originally Heidi’s friend, who ended up becoming best friends forever.
I never knew this actually had an official term.

According to a CNN article by Sarah Jio, friend poaching, or “social poaching,”
occurs “when a friend or acquaintance mines your social network, without permission, for
friends or romantic partners.” With networking sites such as Facebook and MySpace, it has
become easier than ever to expand your social circle through the contacts of other friends

But where do we draw the line? In terms of etiquette and manners, Irene S. Levine of
the Huffington Post claims, “with the booming popularity of social network sites, the ethics
and etiquette of friend poaching may be turning upside down. In cyberspace, becoming a
friend of a cyber-friend is not only socially acceptable, but is actually one of the raisons
d’étre of participation.” Levine claims we shouldn’t feel guilty about poaching. Friendships
are voluntary connections with others that have no legal implications or blood ties.

On the other hand, social poaching can have serious negative impacts on friendships.
Jan Yager, Ph.D., sociologist, and author of When Friendship Hurts: How to Deal with
Friends Who Betray, Abandon or Wound You, maintains that “poaching can lead to hurt
feelings and broken friendships. Some people even go so far as to intentionally avoid
introducing their friends to each other because they like to keep their relationships
separate.”

Barbara Righton, in the Maclean's magazine article, “Beware of social poachers”
refers to a 2006 relationship study at Duke University, which found that ordinary people are
lucky if they have two friends. 25 per cent of the population has no friends at all.

Perhaps this is the reason why friend poaching is so pervasive—and so destructive.
The good news is that sometimes social poaching can be a breath of fresh air. If you have
a friendship that has gone stale over time, a friend taking another friend off your hands can
actually allow you the great gift of change. You can walk away from a potentially worn-
out or toxic relationship and seek out new friends who better complement your needs and
interests.

 

 

 

‘WORD ON THE STREET

By Shannon Mackay
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me F ottcaatttaatitcattastte’

      

Marissa Massullo Jeremy Berry Kirstin Lum-Tong

 

1st Year General Studies | 2nd Year Criminology 1st Year Arts University Transfer
“The Lovely Bones! I read the book in high school and “Eagle Eye. The previews make it look pretty awesome. “Lovely Bones. I read the book and liked it. I can’t wait to
Siistad Ud: thcmuaes aed ta feonieaennal” Looks like a good mix of action and mystery.” see it in motion.”

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