issue 13 // volume 43 humour // no. 23

 

A formal letter of apology from the Other
Press to President Elect Donald Trump

Mr. Trump, Oh, man, what about this one?

It has come to my attention that you’ve expressed calm and rational feelings 1 like to think this was your expression when you realized that a
of discontent at the use of unflattering pictures of you by news organizations in president, like, does stuff. “You mean I actually have to know something
publications. First of all, I would like to apologize for not realizing you experienced —_ about international trade law? Fuck, someone should have told me!”
“feelings” —after observing your mockery of a physically disabled reporter, as I also found this gem:
well as a determined lack of empathy for women and minority groups, I assumed I have no idea where it came from, or who
with good reason that you were in fact an unfeeling lizard person ina brought this monstrosity into the world—oh,
shoddily-crafted orange person suit with tiny hands. That being a quick Google search tells me it was a lovely
said, I have been wrong before, and I see that I was wrong woman by the name of Mary Anne Trump. Fascinating! I

now: You do have feelings! Big-boy, super-sensitive, sad-
mad feelings. Congratulations, you big, bawling baby, you!
The image you took issue with, to
my understanding, was this one:
(Vd like to apologize for the fact that I have it saved
on my computer desktop as “ShoutyCarrot.jpg.” As you
are not shouting in this picture, it is inaccurate,
and therefore potentially hurtful.)
We at the Other Press try to dedicate ourselves
to responsible writing and reporting—oh, if you're
struggling with the word “responsible,”
I'd suggest looking it up ina
dictionary. You might just learn
something! —and in that
spirit, I would like to take this
opportunity to apologize for
any unflattering photos we
may have used in the past.
Photos like this
one, for example:
Oh dear. That really
isn’t very flattering
at all, is it?

also don't know who Photoshopped this image, but what
would the world be without its little mysteries, hmm?
In conclusion, Mr. Trump, you don’t know who I am. You
will likely never read this letter, never know my name, never know
that there is a Canadian college newspaper with a somewhat sadistic
Humour Editor who derives a great deal of pleasure from mocking you
relentlessly. If 1 know one thing though, it is that the scariest
people, the most narcissistic of dictators, can’t abide being
laughed at. Nothing saps power from fear like laughter.
So as long as you continue to put white nationalists in
positions of power, as long as your running mate is a
man who believes in subjecting people like
me to psychological torture and shock
therapy to “fix” us of something
that isn’t broken, as long as you go
unpunished for your multitude
of crimes against women, as
long as you, Donald Trump,
are in a position to hurt a great
deal of people, I plan to laugh
you into the fucking ground.
What I’m trying to say,
Mr. Trump, is kiss my ass.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
  
  
 
 
 
 
 
  
 
 
    
  
 
 
  
 
 
  
   
   
 
       
  
 
      
 

 

Actuall
a Very sincerely and with great
while I’m going 1
through photos pleasure,

on my desktop,

here’s another

one that could be

potentially hurtful:
“Man, that was the

spiciest ketchup I’ve

ever eaten! Reaching

out to the Hispanic

community is

hard,’ is what I

can only imagine

you said after this

photo was taken.

a

(===

I ~
Rebecca Peterson

Humour Editor
PS.

 

 

 

 
    

     

 

OR A NEW PHONE...
WHICHEVER |S EASIEST

f OHMOM!
ALLT ASK FOR
IS WORLD
PEACE!

CHRISTMAS
SWEETIE?

     

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

By: L. A. Bonte For more comics visit FilbertCartoons.com