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Opinions

 

Six comedic clichés that
need to be stopped

Overused dialogue, unfunny stereotyping, and

terrible actors
By Jacey Gibb, Opinions Editor

next cynical young person, so

it’s no surprise that comedy
is one of my favourite genres.
However, there’s a handful of
zingers that lost their zest about a
decade ago that insist on popping
up in recent releases. So if you ever
plan on penning your own quirky
mumblecore masterpiece, do
civilization a favour and save these
clichés for the deleted scenes.

[= to laugh as much as the

Saying “mazel tov” in response to
things that aren’t Jewish

You're getting a divorce? Mazel tov!
You just declared bankruptcy? That
calls for a mazel tov too! Your kid’s
getting circumcised? Okay, that
might be a relevant example. The
main thing here is that a sarcastic
congratulations is a normal piece
of dialogue, but throwing in a
“mazel tov” just seems out of place
and more importantly, has become
overdone. Maybe you should stick
to the traditional high-five seal of
approval instead.

The other left/my left gag

Get it? Because a person can only
have one left and one right. I’ve lost
count of how many times a movie/
show has had two characters argue
over who’s wrong. “You told me

to pick the left one!” “I meant the
other left!” I wish these directors
had made the right decision and left
this kind of joke out completely.

“Are you drunk?” “It’s only __
o'clock!” “So that’s a yes?”

I think the only time this exchange
entertained me was when they
used it in Arrested Development,
but then again, the cast could
discuss the recent spike in corn
prices and it would come out as
comedy gold. Yes, some people
like getting smashed at an earlier

itt

   

hour than others. I’m not sure how
this basic fact became a tent pole
for comedies. “Additional originality
marks get taken off if this conversation
is with an eccentric old woman.

Having a child innocently ask
where babies come from

A recent episode of New Girl used
this classic awkward moment-
maker when Zooey Deschanel’s
character was looking after her
new boyfriend’s pre-teen daughter.
Once this sensitive-topic bomb gets
dropped, a crossroads emerges:
do you construct some fairy tale
explanation that involves magic
dust and a mystical stork, or
should you just give them the
basic backstory of when penis
met vagina? The main problem
with this situation is that I really
doubt that every child is just
waiting for their parents to leave
their sight before finally being able
to ask this burning question. Or
maybe I’m just weird because as a
child, I didn’t constantly barrage
my babysitter with reproductive
inquiries.

Making a white character talk like
an over-exaggerated black person
If I have to watch one more
awkward suburban dad say “fo
shizzle my dizzle,” I swear I’m
going to go “wiggity whack” all
over the script writer’s ass. I think
this form of gag manifested some
time during the ‘90s, but I doubt

it was even funny then. Having
uptight white guys spew out
nonsensical alliterated rhymes isn’t
entertainment—it’s just dumb.

Anything to do with Adam
Sandler

I liked some of his earlier stuff from
when I was a kid, but when there’s
a movie based around him playing
boy-girl twins, I think it’s about
time someone blacklisted the guy.

 

The magnitude of careless driving
Our attitude towards reckless driving needs to change

By Joel MacKenzie, Contributor

manda Woodthorpe,
Sheldon Streiling, Eleni
Isacu, John de Oliveira, his

girlfriend Rebecca Dyer, Dawson
Spencer, Crystal Weaver, and, just
recently, Douglas College student
Alex Johnson, have all died in car
crashes in the Maple Ridge or Pitt
Meadows area within the last three
years.

Because I live in Maple
Ridge, I’m reminded of these
people every time I get into my car.
I graduated there three years ago,
and all of them grew up in one of
the two towns, and were roughly
the same age as me.

Out of respect to the
individuals and their families,
I won't go into the details of
what each of these people were
specifically doing that led to their
death. Some were allegedly using
cell phones, drinking, and/or
speeding, one was in the car with
a driver doing one of these, and
three were killed by other drivers,
one drinking and speeding,
another speeding because she was
late for work.

I want to say that this last
one, being late for work, is the
pettiest, most preventable cause
of all of these, but it’s not. Every
one of these could have been easily
prevented, if someone chose to not
act carelessly while driving.

I wonder if attitudes about
driving are as careless everywhere
as they seem to be in the Lower

m

 

Mainland. Why do so many people
still feel that it’s okay to be a little
buzzed when driving? Why does
almost everyone here drive over
the speed limit? Why do so many
people, myself included, take
driving while distracted, by food
or a cell phone, so lightly? Is it

our tendency to assume we can

do anything and everything better
than the average person? If it is,
then how can one trust every other
driver not to feel and act in the
same way?

Vehicles seem to create egos
that detach people from reality.
Their comfort and enclosure create
a sense of security that makes one
forget about their fragility, that of
their life, and that of every other
life on the road.

The pettiness of drinking,
speeding, and being distracted
while driving is ending lives. We
could blame the offenders who
cause these accidents, but to make
a real change, attitudes towards
and actions while driving need
to change. It’s not okay to drive
after drinking alcohol, over the
speed limit, or while rushing to get
somewhere.

No one has to die when going
to work, when coming back from
a concert, when going to pick up
one’s family, or making any of the
daily commutes that we all have
to do. Is that fair? Can we all agree
on this?

Then we need to change the
way we drive.

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