humour // no. 22 theotherpress.ca

College professor changes study game

> Adds lecture slides to Netflix

account,” Moran said, “or in
simpler terms, I hacked ’em.”

Now, after each episode,
a student has to sit through
five minutes of slides before
moving on to the next one.

“T hate it,” said student
Jena Lane. “If I get home at
five from school, that means
1 only have about eight hours
of Netflix before bed. Ona
good day I can get through
at least a season of Parks and
Recreation or something,
but these damn philosophy
commercials are seriously
impeding all my hard work.”

No matter how the
students feel about this
forced learning, Moran said
that is is doing wonders for
the in-class discussions.

“Now I just sit back and
let them have it out about
the latest moral dilemma, or
whichever paradox I snuck into
their rerun,” said Moran. “It’s
great. | get one side of the class
in a heated argument with the
other, and pretty soon they’re

Chandler Walter
Humour Editor

 

Do: College philosophy
professor James Moran was
discouraged when class after
class that he taught would come
to school without having done
the assigned readings, and he
decided to do something about it.

Moran managed to sneak
his lecture slides onto his
students Netflix accounts without
them being any the wiser.

“Well, it was obvious what
these kids were up to,” said
Moran during an interview. “1
get it, you get home after class,
you're not going to look at the
study material, you're going
to binge a half-dozen hours
of How I Met Your Mother or
Gilmore Girls. But I figured I
could use this to my advantage.”

Moran had grown tired of
the lack of participation in his
class, mostly due to the fact
that he had banked on at least
an hour of in-class discussion
among students per day.

 

“ . , . “ . engaging in well thought out
Honestly, do you know Cards season out, I just don’t as well as a philosopher, It was simply a matter of philosophical discussions on
how long it takes to put a full have that kind of time.” and once he got the email reverse engineering thealgorithm — their own. Meanwhile. I’ve got
day’s worth of lecture together? Luckily enough, Moran addresses of his students, it of the flux capacity system : . ,
. . : : . Kevin Spacey on the tablet I
And with the new House of is something of a tech wiz was game over for them. automatons of each Netflix

keep behind my podium.”

Leo tells all

> The truth about climate change that you've never ‘herd’ before

 

Jamal Al-Bayaa will be a viable replacement thousands of fans behind
Staff Writer for battery acid,” he said. him, his wife, mother, and
One company, Fourtino, children all looked worried.
uring a press conference already has a strategy to market Irmelin Indenberken,
D this Thursday, Oscar their batteries as the first-ever Leonardo DiCaprio’s moth-
. pieces of technology to be fully er, described the situation

winner Leonardo Dicaprio

gave a follow-up speech to

the few words that he gave as
thanks after his Oscar win. In
his statement, he claimed that
cow farts are the world’s biggest
polluters, that the moon landing
video was faked in order to

organic and certified gluten-free. _ ina tell-all interview about

“And lastly,” DiCaprio said, life after the Oscars.
“jt is with great pleasure that I “He just hasn’t been the same
announce that carbon dioxide is since that Oscar win anymore, c io
now on our side! By 2070, we will — you know? He waited for so long,
have created such a thick cloud of — waiting and waiting for that ict 8 pap
carbon dioxide in our atmosphere award, going crazy over the wins “

encourage current car companies that any notion of ‘global warm- that he kept on passing along to
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to increase research for flyin ing’ or ‘global climate change’ will other actors. Now that he has the au
cars, and finally, that he really be quickly forgotten and replaced award, he doesn’t know what to an
neede dto use the washroom by ‘global over-stability:” Glob- do with himself anymore, I think. op
After a quick recess, he con- al over-stability will eliminate I just worry that winning it has Hs |e ia
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