Think you're funny? Contact us at humour@theotherpress.ca & y \ q President Barack Obama U.S. and Israel displaying marked differences on approach to Iran situation U.S.: “We plan to bomb Iran,’ Israel: ‘We definitely plan to bomb Iran’ By Liam Britten Chief Middle East Editor alks between the U.S. and | Israel ended in tension last week over each nation’s polarized position on how to deal with Iran and their almost certain efforts at developing nuclear weapons. Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of Israel and U.S. President Barack Obama both their military and obliterating their nuclear facilities. We just don’t feel it to be prudent.” This disagreement in policy is the strongest diplomatic row facing U.S.-Israel relations since the Carter administration. During those years, relations hit an all-time low when U.S. support for Israel went from “unquestioning” to “almost certain.” However, Prime Minister Netanyahu is putting a positive “This disagreement in policy is the strongest diplomatic row facing U.S.-Israel relations since the Carter administration. During those years, relations hit an all-time low when U.S. support for Israel went from ‘unquestioning’ to ‘almost certain. ” told reporters in Washington that force was certainly an option in dealing with the Islamic Republic. However, while Netanyahu said that Israel is “100 per cent ready” to use force, Obama was positively coy, saying that America was “somewhere between 90 or 95 per cent” likely to attack Iran. The differences weren't just limited to strategy; tactical disagreements existed as well. “Let me be clear: the U.S. is not willing to deny that we have considered a targeted, powerful strike against Iran, crippling their military and destroying their nuclear facilities,” Obama told the press gallery. “That said, we are very apprehensive about Prime Minister Netanyahu’s plan for a precise strike against Iran, hobbling 22 spin on the whole issue. “We thank you, President Barack Obama, and indeed, the American people, for your continued support for the Nation of Israel and democracy in our region,” Netanyahu said, reading from a prepared statement. “We feel that your nation is on the right track by proposing a series of military actions leading to widespread destruction and complete strategic victory, but we are sure that, in time, you will see the need for armed conflict leading to indiscriminate damage and total practical victory.” He concluded by saying, “Our methods may be very different, but our goals are somewhat similar.” Policy analysts have taken note of this abrupt change in mutual policy and see it as a potential turning point in the two nations’ relationship. “The disparity between the hawkishness of Mr. Netanyahu vis-a-vis the reliance on diplomacy preferred by Mr. Obama furthers illustrates the complex relationship that the U.S. and Israel share,” said Jon Ben-David, analyst for Bloomberg Media. “What we're seeing here may simply be splitting hairs at first glance, but represents a real disjunction of policy objectives, and could be the first sign of America treating Israel with less seriousness.” Ben-David clarified his comments by saying that entire last quotation was a joke, and we were suckers for believing it. CJunencus typo: Trapped in a rainy cage By Livia Turnbull, Contributor Trapped in a rainy cage the raindrops find their way through the holes in the mesh and hit me like a thousand missiles. Still, this is nothing at all compared to the sorrow ever present in my heart. I live with others in this cage it stinks of piss, shit and old food that has rotted away. “Eat” the handlers say, forcing us to eat this awful seed. The ones in training, are the worst of them all. They feed us this seed with force and they are happy about it. Inane songs spring from their tiny pink mouths as they feed us from their tiny hands. I would bite, but I’ve no teeth and will to do so. The ones in training will soon go into a yellow cage that will transport them and their colourful plastic skin to a place. Soon, the handlers are gone leaving me to gaze in this pool of water that has collected by my orange, webbed feet. I will. I will find a way out of this hellhole soon. Because despite what the tag around my white, feathered, long neck tells me to see my name is not Mr. Ducky Mallard Quackers.