Crowded Bookshelf: The not-so-Grim Darkness

» ‘Ciaphas Cain’ book series review

Duncan Fingarson
Contributor

o talk about Ciaphas

Cain, Sandy Mitchell’s
questionably heroic commissar,
I need to start by talking about
Warhammer 40,000. Games
Workshop’s sci-fi setting has
long been one of my favourites,
and Cain may well be the best
character in it. 40,000 years
from now in the Grim Darkness
of the Far Future, humanity
is embroiled in a galaxy-wide
war for survival against the
forces of Chaos and the Alien.
The monolithic institutions of
the Empire of Man are huge,
unwieldy, and bureaucratic,
and the Imperium of Man is in
constant danger of falling apart
at its own hands, or the hands of
its enemies.

The first line of defence
against the threat from
outside is the Imperial Guard,
vast armies tithed from the
Imperium’s worlds. Their
morale officers are commissars,
tasked with ensuring the men
and women of the Guard don’t
break and run at the first sight
of the galaxy’s horrors. Enter

: Cain, a commissar who would

: like nothing more than to break
: and run at the first sight of the

: galaxy’s horrors. The problem

: is that everyone else thinks he’s
: a hero, so running away would

: damage his reputation.

Most of the series is, by now,

: collected into omnibus editions.
: The first of these is Hero of the

: Imperium, covering three books,
: each of which is preceded by

: a short story selected to lead

: into that book. The first of

: these is also the very first Cain

: story, detailing the point at

: which his reputation started to

: gather momentum, and how the
: immensely useful and entirely

: unimaginative Gunner Jurgen

: came to be his aide. The first

: book is For the Emperor, which

: introduces the regiment Cain

: will be attached to for most of

: the other books, as well as the

: Imperial Inquisitor who shows

: up on occasion to make his life

: interesting and complicated.

By far the best part of the

: books is the narrative style. The
: books are written from Cain’s

: perspective, with occasional

: interjections from Inquisitor

: Amberley in the form of

: footnotes or appended chapters.
: Cain’s voice is dry and witty,

: and the first-person perspective
: offers much-needed insight into
: the disconnect between what

: the commissar is thinking,

: and what he actually does. The

: concept wouldn’t work nearly

: as well if you only saw Cain’s

: actions without hearing his

: thoughts.

Of course, the series does

: have a few problems. Each book
: is largely self-contained—which
: is great for people just starting

: with the books—but it means

: that there’s a fair bit of recycled
: description as the major

: characters are re-introduced at
: the beginning each time. The

: author has a habit of ending

: chapters with lines in the vein

: of “If I only knew what would

: happen next...” which can be

: a little grating after a while.

: A very small number of the

: situations Cain finds himself

: in are resolved in improbably

: fortuitous ways.

However, these are still

: some of the best Warhammer
: 40,000 books out there, and they :
: serve asa great introduction to:
: the setting.

: A couple of the later books
: have connecting plotlines,

: so lrecommend starting at

: the beginning. The omnibus

editions aren't expensive, but

they might be a little difficult
: to track down outside of the

   

Image via warhammer40k.wikia.com

: Black Library’s official website.

: If you can find them, I strongly
: recommend picking them up. It
: helps if you’re already a fan of

: Warhammer 40,000, but if you

: aren't, Ciaphas Cain might just

: make you into one.

 

Travel back to Middle-earth with Tolkien's bible

» ‘The Silmarillion’ book review

Benjamin Howard
Contributor

“ye the lies that Melkor,
the mighty and accursed,
Morgoth Bauglir, the Power of
Terror and of Hate, sowed in
the hearts of Elves and Men
are a seed that does not die and
cannot be destroyed; and ever
and anon it sprouts anew, and
will bear dark fruit even unto the
latest days.”

J. R. R. Tolkien, the creative
mind behind titles such as
The Lord of the Rings and The

: Hobbit, delved deeper into the

: fantastical world of Middle-

: earth in The Silmarillion, a book
: he wrote intermittently from

: as early as 1917. Even unto his

: death in 1973, the book was

: considered unfinished because
: Tolkien was a perfectionist.

: But while The Silmarillion was

: a life’s work, it doesn’t quite

: compare to the classic The Lord
: of the Rings.

In scope, it far surpasses

: its predecessor. From the
: creation of the universe all
: the way to the events leading

: directly to The Lord of the

: Rings, The Silmarillion is a

: tale of millennia with many

: characters and names. There

: are in fact hundreds of names,
: many of them foreign and

: used frequently without

: definition, which will alienate
: some readers. This makes The
: Silmarillion less accessible

: than his more popular works.
: Fortunately, there is an index of
: names at the back of the book
: for reference. However, after

: reading the first 50 pages or

: so, the important names will

: be learned and the index will

: become less necessary from

: then on.

: The story itself is similar in
: spirit to The Lord of the Rings,

: but different in structure.

: The Silmarillion is a history of

: Middle-earth, so it is not one

: story but many. The main focus
: is on the ongoing struggle for

: the possession of the Silmarilli:
: three perfect jewels of powerful
: magic. The Silmarilli were

crafted by the elves, but coveted
: by the first Dark Lord, Morgoth, :
: a favour and start with those!

: and so sparked many wars.

: The Silmarillion is not as

: good as The Lord of the Rings,

: but that’s not saying much

? since The Lord of Rings is a

: masterpiece. Nonetheless, The

: Silmarillion is very good. If you

: have read Tolkein’s finest and

: enjoyed all the Elvish names

: and lore, try The Silmarillion.

: It will grant a better

: understanding and appreciation
: of the fantasy world that he so

: meticulously crafted. Though if

you haven't read The Lord of the
Rings or The Hobbit, do yourself

 

Geekenders

and parodies 1n Not the Bees!’

» Nicholas Cage-inspired burlesque show hilarious and sexy

Lauren Kelly
News Editor
M news@theotherpress.ca

he Geekenders’ newest show

Not the Bees! A Burlesque
Tribute to Nicholas Cage hit the
Rio Theatre stage on September
2. The show’s simple plotline
involved Nicholas Cage in Hell
with Satan punishing him by
forcing him to watch his movies

: for the rest of time.

Stephen Blakley performed

: as Nicholas Cage, delivering

: a hilarious, over-the-top

: impression, referring to himself
: in the third person, gyrating,

: yelling, and telling the audience
: to shut up when Nicholas Cage

: is speaking. This was tough,

: as the audience rarely stopped

: laughing during these segments.

The dances were prefaced

: by ridiculous clips from Cage’s

: films, including Con Air,

: Moonstruck, National Treasure,

: and Kick-Ass. Duo Fanny Oakley
: and Jayne Fondue performed

: dynamic dances for both Face/

: Offand The Wickerman. In their
: Face/Off routine, they each stole
: the other’s Nicholas Cage and

: John Travolta face headbands

present spot-on impressions

: and shot each other with water
: guns. Another highlight came

: from Geekenders’ artistic

: director Trixie Hobbitses, who

: danced a routine for The Family
: Man and covered herself in

: chocolate cake.

: Throughout the night, the
: hilarious Roe Butts scampered
: around the stage in a mullet wig,
: T-shirt, and jeans, seemingly

: searching for something. She

: concluded with the final number
: in the show: her finding the

: Declaration of Independence

: and performing a dance with it

: as wings.

The show was incredibly

: sexy, entertaining, and off-

: beat. Not the Bees! proves that
: Geekenders can pull off any

: parody.