Culture Weak Virus Jen Swanston How do you kill what isn’t alive—something that’s pure energy? That's the problem that the crew of a barge towing tug face once they board a seemingly abandoned Russian science ship. Caught in a hurricane and taking on water, the Sea Star heads for the eye of the hurricane in the hopes of finding help. Navigator “Kit” Foster (Jamie Lee Curtis), spots an unknown vessel on the other side of the eye. They hail the vessel several times, but no one answers. When the Sea Star get to the Russian ship, the Akademic Vladislav Volkov, they find no one aboard. Ecstatic that not only will they not be dying at sea, but due to laws of international seas Everton (Donald Sutherland), the captain of the Sea Star, claims the Akademic Vladislav Volkov as a scrap ship and takes control of it. From there it’s your garden-variety sci-fi horror. The plot, while very predict- able and uninspired, keeps the suspense and starts coming the whole way through the movie. Unfortu- nately, the same thing cannot be said for the acting and writing. As the body count grows so does the unbeliev- ability factor and any sem- blance of character develop- ment. On the up side, the energy form that has invaded the ship uses the ship’s own computers and mechanics to build first little drones, then—with parts of the dead crew members—cyborgs and finally a monster, super computer. The little ‘bugs’ that the energy builds from cannibalized parts of the ship are eerily cute as they go scuttering around the dead ship hauling parts of the destroyed ship and dead crew members. Virus will not win any awards in any category, with the possible exception of the gross out factor and maybe some special affects. Also, Curtis will keep her title as ‘scream queen’ and William Baldwin, who plays the chief engineer Steve Baker, for bad movies. Virus is a fun ride where no intelligence, never Ftamle Playing at the Stanley Theatre, 2750 Granville Street From Jan. 27-Feb. 20 -Jones Don't worry. It picks up after the first several scenes. For the Shakespearean tragedy, this production has some wonderfully silly moments, most of them written in by that wacky Bard himself. Some, however, swelled beyond the script to, ah, loftier heights. Meanwhile, back at the beginning, things were a wee bit stiff. It took far too long for the audience to warm to the characters, or for the actors to really start rolling around in the magical mudpie of the 15th century, instead of just squishing it between their toes a little. I admit, scriptwise, things don't get too hairy until the dead man’s rant, and this was still a preview night, but the dry opening made it harder to slide into the delicious gore at the heart of Denmark. I wasn't sure of Michael Shanks as Hamlet at first, but once he got past the nasty hurdle of polite sanity he did alright. And, to quote my companion, “Horatio was a hottie.” Played warmly by Dion Johnstone, yep, he was indeed. Patti Allan's Gertrude was very real from the get-go. Even though her first scene consisted mainly of gracious head wagging, her divided 6 February 3 1999 Queen was always extremely human and believable. The only problem was that, for a murderous plotter, she seemed awfully nice, more prone to motherly hugs than to incestuous poisoning. But the performance that crammed itself into my pointy head the most came from Donald Adams as The Ghost. He also portrayed the Player King and the Gravedigger most lovely, but... Really, can anything top the grandeur of a 10-15 foot tall digital dead guy's face? With the added kick of what I swear was bass- amplified SurroundSound! Campin’ up the classics never tasted so good. I almost wish Ken MacDonald's set had followed more of the same lines of nonsense, but it was fine as a ‘serious, moody abstract, pure lines against turmoiled monochrome paint strokes, allegory for the storm in every man’s soul’ foil for the straight up goofy bits (I should probably mention here that this really is a terribly tragic, dark play. Honest.). Multi-purpose benches defined each scene change clearly and simply by their varying placement, while blue or red canvasses flown in and out served as monstrous large emotion barometers. The clever bits looked remarkably painterly, so I just have to remark: nice flag of Denmark, funky flaming donut! This set the Other Press mind concentration, is needed. When it goes to video, The movie will lose some of its effect on the smaller screen. So, if you have the chance, go see it when it comes to the cheap theatres—if someone else pays for you. xk would be fabulous in a smaller venue, where the push-pull effect of linear abstract work could be emphasized by cramming the audience almost inside the visually flattened paradox of a 2D painting big enough for 3D actors to roam around in. As it stands, it looks interest- ing, but in this case the distance of the seats from the stage tends to, well, distance the emotional impact of what's on the stage. This distancing was somewhat offset by Mark Ferris’ violin, with the heart-strings workout inherent in the playing of any such instrument a fitting complement to tales of madness, murder and mayhem. Almost. Maybe my strings are made of cat-gut, and would be better on a banjo, or a tennis racket, but it seemed that some- times the violin was overpowering the actors, and sometimes it wasn't necessary at all. Granted, when it worked, it worked well, but overall it was a little distracting. So, you want to go to Elsinore, do you? Well, this production of Hamlet may not quite get you there, but it might drop you | didn’t know we got Playboy on this ship 10% OFF all entrees for all Students, Faculty & Staff of Douglas College 50-8th Street, New Westminster 604.524.9788 Death, Deception, DOT Shakespeare’s Classic AN a es January 22 — February 20 TicketMaster 280-3311 www.ticketmaster.com Box Office 687-1644 Group Sales 687-5315 rT at 12th Canadi>n Airlines CBC rr Vancouver Te lasts) THE VANCOUVER SUN